22 Christmas cracker jokes that are so bad they’re good

It’s the perfect time of year to share some good cheer so why not tell your friends and family some of these festive funnies?  

If you’ve ever pulled open a Christmas cracker you know to expect three things: a colourful paper crown, a flimsy plastic toy of some kind and a piece of paper with a joke. Some jokes are too cheesy to repeat and others to cringe-worthy to be read aloud, but then that’s all part of the fun.  

So, if you don’t have any jokes to tell at the table this year, then we’ve got you covered.  

Christmas cat gif  

  • What do you call an elf who sings? A wrapper  

 

  • What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic 

 

  • What nationality is Santa Claus? North Polish  

 

  • What would you get if you crossed Santa Claus with a detective? Santa Clues  

 

  • What did one snowman say to the other? “Can you smell carrots?” 

 

  • Why does Santa go down chimneys? Because it soots him 

 

  • What do snowmen eat for breakfast? Frosted Flakes  

 

  • What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees? Horn-aments  

 

  • Why are Christmas trees so bad at sowing? They always drop needles  

 

  • Did Santa teach the elves how to do their job? No, they were elf-taught 

 

  • What did Santa ask Rudolph about the weather? “Is it going to rain dear?” 

reindeer dog gif

 

  • How do snowmen get around? They ride an icicle  

 

  • Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? A mince spy  

 

  • How does Christmas day end with? A ‘y’  

 

  • What carol is sung in the desert? O’ camel ye faithful! 

 

  • What do skunks sing on Christmas? Jingle smells  

 

  • Who is Santa’s favourite singer? Elf-is Presley  

 

  • What do you say to Santa when he’s taking attendance? Present! 

 

  • Why does Santa have a clock in his sleigh? Because time flies when you’re having fun 

 

  • How do you know Santa is good at jiu-jitsu? Because he’s got a black belt  

 

  • Where does Santa stay when on holiday? hoho-hotel 

 

  • How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing, it was on the house  

 

Got a festive joke that’s too good to keep to yourself? Tell us on Twitter or Facebook and we’ll share the best ones. 

 

 

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