Most marriages go through different twists and turns that threaten their stability, and when there are differences between spouses, many need to know how to manage these differences and avoid them turning into permanent conflicts where they start to defend themselves. Or attack the other party.
Both methods fuel conflict and sometimes push spouses to advanced levels of anger. Therefore, choosing rational, balanced behavior is the best way to resolve marital differences even in the most difficult moments, which can be trained and consciously chosen to reduce the intensity of conflicts.
Here, we will try to identify the difference between offensive and defensive behavior and how to eliminate them? How to be rational when angry?
Attack and Defense
Both happen Offensive and defensive behavior A psychological response to conflict situations is two conflicting behaviors. It is important to know what these behaviors are in order to properly handle and respond to them, as the first type is often aimed at attacking others and wanting to assert power, while the other seeks to protect itself from perceived threats or criticism by being avoided. Denial, or rationalization.
The owner of aggressive behavior is often characterized by confidence, aggression and indifference. At the same time, defensive behavior is only a reaction to “attack” and can be seen as a submissive person trying to protect himself from attack in a purely instinctive way.
Don’t rush to defend yourself
It means self-defense Urge to defend yourself When you’re faced with an uncomfortable situation, ask and talk about the real problem instead, says Amy Daramos, clinical psychologist and author of Understanding Bipolar Disorder.
The defensive reaction is sometimes conscious and sometimes unconscious, he says, citing examples of defensive behavior such as making excuses and rationalizing when someone criticizes you. It also happens that someone criticizes you, so to make him feel guilty about you, you remind him of what he did against you.
Another defensive reaction that often occurs is that the other party diligently agrees to what they say about you so that it doesn’t say anything, and it may make promises that you can’t keep in order to avoid a major confrontation.
How do you stop being defensive?
If understood catalysts Self-defense is the first step toward balanced reactions, as this understanding allows you to prepare appropriate responses to stimuli, observe your reactions, and observe your physical sensations, such as tension in the limbs or sweating. Physiological responses help to slow down the reaction and choose the best response.
So, try naming your feelings, even if it’s just between you and yourself, this method creates emotional awareness that prompts you to think and manage yourself better. You should show the support, self-compassion and care you would show a friend or loved one, and recognize that we are all imperfect and make mistakes from time to time. Self-compassion helps you move into a state of self-forgiveness and acceptance.
Assault and psychological aggression
Aggressive behavior It uses power and psychological aggression to influence a person, its owner refuses to submit to anyone, and it often occurs with the aim of achieving a specific goal.
The owner of hurtful behavior is characterized by indifference to the feelings of others and a desire to control, albeit in an unconscious state.
In contrast to defensive behavior, which is subtle or visible, “offensive” behavior is clear, visible, and subtle.
Assertiveness and aggressiveness are not the same thing
known Psychologists Assault is also defined as intentionally directed behavior that causes pain, harm and fear, and can be not only physical, but also verbal and psychological, and in essence consists of a form of threat and disrespect. As for assertiveness, it’s honesty about your ideas, feelings, beliefs, and decisions. Here, the assertive person is not abusive or manipulative.
There are examples of groups of behaviors developed by psychologists that distinguish between an assertive personality and an offensive personality to help you determine whether you are an assertive person or characterized by hurtful behavior.
We see that assertive people prioritize achieving their goals and protecting their values and rights, but at the same time they respect the beliefs, values and rights of others, and they seek alternative perspectives on various issues.
Realizing that a loud voice can cause misunderstandings between themselves and others, assertive people speak in a quiet voice. There is also a gentleness and calmness in their body language and eye contact.
Although people with hurtful behavior show menace and sarcasm in their behavior, body language, and speech, they are unable to appreciate the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs of others. Their first desire, always, is to assert their dominance and control, and their presence is often uncomfortable for the other party.
Balanced behavior is not limited to marital relationship, but balanced behavior is effective in improving all relationships because no one wants to defend himself in front of someone who is always criticizing or condemning him. Also, constant assault drains personal energy unconsciously.
Finally, the relationship between spouses is considered one of the most difficult relationships, because after many years of marriage, the importance of the marital relationship decreases for them, and they stop making efforts to make it successful, and vices and shortcomings are a thing given in the relationship, which further weakens it and threatens its essence and meaning.
Today, Friday, in its weekly bulletin, the Ministry of Health and Social Security (Covid-19) announced that a total of 205 new infections have been recorded, while no deaths have been recorded.
In its weekly bulletin of (Covid-19) results covering the period from September 16 to September 22, 2023, the ministry highlighted that the number of people vaccinated reached 24 million and the number of people who received the first dose reached 924 thousand 167. The number of people vaccinated with the second dose increased by 23 million to 426 thousand 39, and a total of 6 million 886 thousand 744 received the third dose of antiviral vaccine to 61 thousand 121. Those who received the fourth level of reminiscence.
The ministry added that since the first case was reported on March 2, 2020, the weekly “positive, new infections with the virus brought the number of confirmed infections in the Kingdom to one million, 276 thousand 635”. Rate” is approximately 5.6 percent.
Casablanca-Settat (62), Rabat-Salé-Kenitra (79), Fes-Meknes (12), Souze-Massa (18), Beni Mellal-Kenifra (10) and The. Orient Region (2). , Marrakesh-Safi (20), Dra-Tafilalet (1), and Tangier-Tetouan-Al Hoceima (1).
With no deaths reported in the past week, the total number of deaths is estimated at 16,297 (a general mortality index of 1.3 percent).
The total number of active cases reached 250 and one active case was registered during the same period.
Social Unity Minister Dr. Nevin Al-Kabaj began his journey to Alexandria Governorate today, Friday, to launch the campaign.A journey of a thousand kilometersBy opening the “Reproductive Health and Early Detection of Cervical Cancer” clinic, the focus is on early detection of cervical cancer and reproductive health..
The Minister of Social Unity confirmed that the “Thousand Kilometer Journey” is scheduled to start today from Alexandria Governorate and continue for two days, from there to 9 Governorates of Beni Souf, Minya, Assiut and Sohaq. , Qana, Luxor and Aswan for two days in each governorate, and finally its activities will end in Cairo Governorate on January 5th and 6th next year..
Al-Kabbaj added that the trip targets three activities, the first of which is related to awareness, where social pioneers in those governorates will be trained to improve awareness and their medical awareness. The second part of the trip is related to training the medical staff of the clinics. In these governorates, “Reproductive Health and Early Detection of Cervical Cancer” has been prepared, where doctors and nurses will be trained on the use of various family planning methods. and the use of the cervical speculum to ensure the delivery of clinical care with high efficiency through workshops and clinical conferences..
The third part of the campaign is economic empowerment, as a bazaar will be established in each governorate where the campaign travels with the aim of promoting their products to women producers and small enterprises..
I retired at 100… A centenarian talks about the importance of “being busy at work” to live a long life.
Madeleine Balto recently retired at the age of 100, having worked for more than 80 years – from the age of 18 to 99. According to a CNBC report, Balto believes work has contributed to his longevity.
Balto says of his previous job: “It kept me busy, and I enjoyed the work… As for retirement, I don’t really like it.”
The Balto family started an electric sign manufacturing business in Chicago, with Madeline responsible for office work. She often interacted with customers and it was her favorite job.
She said: “I loved interacting with people… and I was the only one in the office doing all the office work, so it was fun.” “I loved going to work.”
An 85-year-old Harvard University study found that positive relationships make people happier and help them live longer. For this reason, it is not surprising that Balto places a strong emphasis on the importance of family and friends.
Assistant Professor of Medicine and Genetics and Director of Human Lifespan Studies at the Albert Einstein Institute for Aging Research, Dr. Sophia Melman says. College of Medicine.
At 100, Balto maintains his sense of community by going out to dinner with his sons and attending family events. Finally attended a wedding earlier this month.
She also likes going to the Dunkin’ Donuts branch every Sunday with her son to meet friends. “I look forward to it every week,” he says.
Balto affirms that she is lucky; Because she has some friends of the same age who often come to her house for lunch.
She added: “They always invite me over and come over for lunch on Wednesdays at 12pm… we have fun together… without your friends, where are you, right?”
While maintaining healthy relationships is an important factor in living longer, there are other factors that contributed to Balto’s longevity.
First, Mellman says, “In general, women’s life expectancy is longer than men’s…and we believe that genetics also has a significant relationship with longevity.”
In fact, Balto’s older sister lived to be 103 years old. “But she and I are the only ones who lived over 100 years,” she says, referring to her parents, who died at 84, and her sisters, who didn’t live very long.
I grew up on a vegetarian diet
Aiming to stay active, Balto says, “I’m still getting around better. I can walk up the stairs. I have energy; “so I’m in pretty good shape.”
She also tries to eat as healthy as possible, something that started in her childhood, she explains: “When I was a child, there were seven children in the family, and my father was building a big garden, so we lived mostly. On vegetables. “There wasn’t a lot of meat, we couldn’t afford meat.”
“I think that’s probably why I eat healthier,” she adds. Don’t eat fast food now.
Millman says centenarians are generally more confident, and Balto fits that description. He says it’s unclear whether centenarians are always positive, or whether they develop their positive outlook as they age.
Balto says she doesn’t feel too nervous; Because “everything can be solved.” She continues: “I’m very lucky; As I am 100 years old, I am in good health… I cannot complain about my health. “I’m walking, talking, no pain.”