Involuntary mistakes may pass, but there are behaviors that cannot be easily forgiven, although we regularly do them without realizing it; Especially after the age of forty, it is an age where we need to know how to present ourselves properly.
Although most people understand social etiquette and do not want to offend anyone during their daily activities, some of them – in fact – sometimes violate etiquette; By letting the elevator door close while someone rushes to catch up, or by not saying “please,” “thank you,” or “excuse me.”
While involuntary mistakes pass away, there are behaviors that cannot be easily forgiven, and we tend to commit them without realizing it; Especially after turning 40, “that’s the age where we need to know how to present ourselves properly,” says etiquette coach Marianne Parker.
Hence the importance of having a common denominator to make life easier in all areas; Etiquette stops mistakes, which affect others in ways we might not expect, by perceiving a person as engaging in inappropriate behavior that causes others discomfort or embarrassment.
Adolescence
“It’s about learning the proper way to enter and exit as a teenager,” says etiquette expert Jacqueline Yost, but there are still teens who get stuck in doorways. They don’t have the patience to stand aside to be allowed to exit an elevator, bus, train or any door. They also neglect to hold the door of a building, office or shop, to assist those entering directly behind them or to accommodate those leaving at the same time.
He noted that doing this work with someone who is still 10 meters away from you “would not be polite, because it would oblige you to run to catch up.”
Thanks for ignoring
Not thanking your guest after any occasion, even if you give him a gift, can leave a bad impression on him; According to etiquette expert Nora Lawler, starting the next day with a call to express thanks and appreciation is “a nice touch and the right thing to do.”
Not only that, but etiquette also dictates that you send a thank-you note after receiving the gift. “It’s a powerful tool that never forgets you.”
Disrespect
For example, for reasons of health or old age, there is no blame on one who sits when introduced to others; But generally etiquette dictates that you stand up when you introduce someone.
Despite the old belief that women should sit while serving, today it is better to stand regardless of gender. When you stand up to greet someone, “not only does it show that you’re interested in meeting them, but it’s an easy way to show respect,” says Bonnie Chai, founder and director of the Institute of Etiquette and Ethics.
Phone on the table
For example, if you’re invited to dinner, the nature of your work doesn’t require you to be ready for an emergency call at any moment, and keeping your phone on the table during dinner is “undoubtedly rude, it makes you appear. Your friends won’t know because you’re not giving your host your full attention. Satisfied.” ; So, as hard as it may be, Bates Johnson says, “It’s important to put the phone away to respect etiquette, have real conversations, and build serious relationships.”
Someone feels neglected
When you assume that your guests, friends or team members at work know each other, you neglect to introduce them to each other; “You’re devaluing them and sending a message to the uninitiated that they don’t deserve recognition,” says Tony Dupree, founder and president of Etiquette Training Institute.
“People are introduced to each other so that none of them feel left out,” advises Dupree.
Get used to it late
The rhythm of life makes everyone late to leave the house or get stuck in traffic every now and then.
But that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t tell those waiting for you that you won’t be on time; This is an etiquette error. “Being late tells you that your time is more important than anyone else’s,” says Chai.
Therefore, if you are late, it is important to let them know who is waiting for you and thank them for their patience when you arrive.
Connect everything to your person
No one talks, not even for fun, to quickly respond to everything they say with a story like what happened to you. “It sounds like you’re being rude and not listening effectively,” Parker explains of listening skills. An important trait in building relationships. Constantly talking too much about ourselves will never create a positive impression.”
Apologizing too much
Research conducted at Harvard Business School suggests that “we may over-apologize to build or maintain trust.” Still, while it’s important to take responsibility for your mistakes, Parker says, “Apologizing too much can be insincere and put pressure on the other person.”
Embarrassing situations for others
Sometimes when you tell someone about a ridiculous situation, you think it’s an opportunity to laugh and you can cheerfully relive the awkward moment, but Parker cautions against “putting negative memories or bad situations back on the table.”
Index finger
According to Bonnie Dassey, pointing your index finger directly at someone is “an accusatory gesture, aggressive behavior, and a complete faux pas in the world of etiquette.” “There’s no doubt that the gesture with an open palm is more welcoming and neutral.”
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