Besides having to deal with the shock and grief of the diagnosis, Amber was outraged to learn that IVF services were not provided free of charge by the Ministry of Health in her area, even though they were available in other nearby areas.

“I felt it was completely unfair,” he says, “and we said frankly that if we wanted to move on, the only option was to split up.”

Amber, a charity worker, took on two other jobs, including as an estate agent at weekends, while her husband, hairdresser Marco Naubat, worked extra as a delivery driver and sold his car to pay for the insemination.

Amber sank into deep depression after two IVF cycles “failed miserably”.

“I reached a dark place and it got worse,” she says. “I had to make a decision that I didn’t want to be around anymore. I felt like a burden to Marco, like I let my parents down. Down and my grandparents down. I hit rock bottom.”

Amber had to wait 14 months to see an NHS doctor who gave her eye movement sensitivity and reprocessing – a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

Despite the emotional upheaval, she launched a campaign to get the NHS back in her area and started support groups. Amber says this is her “proudest achievement”.

The couple were offered an IVF campaign by the British Department of Health, which began in January last year, when Amber discovered she was pregnant. He never believed it.

“I couldn’t understand how it worked,” he says, “after all the propaganda from the Ministry of Health and everything else, it felt like a fairy tale.”

In October, Amber and Marco welcomed baby Joey. Amber doesn’t think she can ever feel the love she feels for him.

However, she became depressed due to the stress of the past seven years.

“I felt like I had to enjoy every minute of it because we went through so much to get it, so you feel guilty saying, ‘This is hard,'” Amber says.

“My postpartum anxiety was so bad that I didn’t think I could talk about it because I was worried people would think I was ungrateful.”

Infertility, which affects one in seven couples, has a significant impact on mental health, social relationships, finances and careers, says Dr Catherine Hill, chief executive of the UK Fertility Network.

The charity surveyed 1,300 fertility patients and found that 40% were suicidal and 10% had suicidal thoughts often or all the time.

About half of survey respondents were able to access treatment covered by Medicare, but most had to finance some of it themselves.

Dr Hill says: “We know that most fertility patients want emotional support, but fertility clinics in the UK only offer one free session of fertility advice, which is not ideal.”

Some areas of England’s health sector offer just one free IVF cycle, although national guidelines recommend three, while others have stricter criteria – for example, not having children and falling within a certain age and weight range, she says.

“Most patients have to pay for their own medical treatment. For a country that pioneered IVF, this is unacceptable; we need to do more as a society and health system to help those facing the trauma of infertility,” says Dr Hill.

Kelly Keogh, 27, from Peterborough, was so nervous imagining her car crashing that she left her office job.

“Sterility means isolation. Isolation.”

“I went into therapy really hard,” Kelly says, “and the second one caused a little PTSD, so it was a very difficult time.”

Her first therapist in the health department “didn’t seem to understand” these procedures, but another therapist advised Kelly on ways to manage her anxiety, and she felt in a much better place when she and partner Dan began a round of IVF funding. by the Department of Health at the Bourne Clinic near Cambridge.

Baby Harlan Ray was born just before Christmas, and Kelly says she couldn’t be happier. She wants to support others facing fertility challenges and hopes to train as a fertility nurse.

“I still can’t believe we got it, I still can’t believe it’s ours,” he says. “I wouldn’t have gotten pregnant for the treatment I received, and yet we save and we have to pay for IVF.”

Amber and Kelly are considering trying for another child, but they are fully aware of the emotional and financial cost of using their free round of IVF.

Amber UK is also taking steps to expand her campaign for equal access to healthcare fertility treatment.

A spokesperson for the Department of Health and Social Care said it was working on the Women’s Health England strategy, which has a number of important changes and future ambitions to improve unequal access to health-funded fertility services.

Amber says she will not rest until the situation is resolved. “I’ll never forget how hard it was, and I want to do everything I can to make sure other people get the help I gave them,” she says.